right here waiting

today is exactly 2 weeks...

i dunno why i couldnt breath properly during thursday...

i think is bcoz of the only reason which made me so down recently..

honestly,i miss u...

i told u not to tell me coz i can do nothing...

but i cant wait anymore...

i miss u,i miss u,i miss u...

my mind stopped working these days...

i cant think about other things when it was full of our memories...

i couldnt make it stop...

it comes up to my mind every moment without stopping...

im still waiting...

still wondering...

still praying...

still loving u...

waiting,and waiting...how long should i wait???

i always remember our promises,no matter when,where or what will happen next...

i hope u remember what u've promised me too...

time > killer

sigh...

almost 2 weeks i am alone here..

i still cant get used to the days without u..

the time goes too slow these day...

1 hour juz like a day...

i did everything to make myself not to think about it,

but i cant!!!

the image when u left was in my mind all the time..

i cant control myself..

i only have 1 question which i always wanted to ask u..

when will u come back?

i afraid i annoy u with this question

thats why i dont ask u everytime when we talked.

honestly,i already lose my confident..

u told me u will come back soon..

u gave me hope..

but i dont dare to believe it...

what if it takes 3 months,6 months or more?

i felt silly for myself when i cried after u left...

u used to wipe my tears whenever i cried..

but now...

i should do it myself...

i hate it too much...

i hate being alone and without u...

i dont want to be alone anymore...

what can i do????

i can do nothing...

when will be the end of this suffering days????

i wanna cry out loud but im out of energy!!!

i miss u

i miss u more than word can say...

2mrw will be exactly 6 months for our relation...
we went thru many problems...
many sweet days..

the only thing i can say is,
i am blessed bcoz i loved by you...
and i am proud bcoz i have u...

the fourth day

Another Day has Gone.... I'm still All Alone ...

How Could tis Be.... You're Not Here With Me....

today is the fourth day which u are not here..

how slow the time goes when u are not with me...

but i am satisfied bcoz i could talk to u finally...

i really dont want anything else...

i juz want u to come back..

i could sacrifies everything to make u come back to me...

i'm still wondering why it happened to us...

dear,

i know u have no choice too...

u forced to leave...

but please remember what u've promised me b4 u left...

i always told myself about ur promise when i was sad..

i dont forget my promise too...

i promised u to get the 1st place in class...

i will try my best...

i will do anything u asked me to do...

honestly,

i cant get used to the days without u...

it is too difficult...

i am waiting...

i am tolerating...

waiting for u to come back...

take care and be safe...

the teddy bears u gave me b4 u left...

they are waiting for their daddy to come back..

i am still counting...

p/s:my dear frens...thx for ur concern...

i am fine now...juz pray for me everything will be fine.

and again,sorry for made u being worried...

Gillian waiting for u....

the day u left

16.7...
i will never forget this day...
it was the day which u left...
dear,
y didnt u tell me u r goin to leave on that day???
y u lied to me and said i will see u on today???
do u know i was too worried yesterday and i was awake for the whole night to calling u???
i really have a lot of question that i wanna ask u...
i have alot of word that i wanna tell u...
i felt regret why i didnt talk to u b4 u left...
i felt regret why i dont tell u that i love you when u asked me to say...
u r juz like missing from my world...
i dont see u on messenger...
i dont have ur number which i can call u...
dear...
my mind is too sick now...
i didnt eat my dinner...
i didnt sleep...
but i stopped crying...
i juz wanna talk to u...
im waiting for u to on9...
im waiting for u to come back to me...
pls come back soon...
i'll be fine here...
u pls take care and make me sure that u will be back in 2 months...
pls....
i beg u....
i dont ask for anything else....
i juz want u to come back to me...
God Bless both of us...

refreshing

my dear frens...

dont worry about me ok?

im fine...

i juz cant tolerate with the assignments...

thanks ya...

and sorry for made u all being worried...

especially HOPE...

muackzzz...

===================================

i was too busy with the assignments..

i haven take my nap for 3 days..

which is nescessary for me..:D

i used to drink a lot of coffee to make myself stay awake at night..

my god....

i dont like...

its too tiring...

i dont even eat properly these day..

i lose my appetite..

haizzz....

but i have no choice...

my only advice is:be smart in choosing your group member...

it may help u a lot...

but i am happy bcoz 1 of my group member,Ling...

she is so cute..haha..

we are in the same group for all of the assignments...

we have a lot of idea in common..

thats why we could finish everything in a short time...

she is a caring person too...

she share my work bcoz she feels like its unfair bcoz i should do most of the work..

thank you...

and my other classmates too...
we had a lot of fun in class these days...

muackzz...

====================================

by the way,im not going to work on any assignment in the coming week...

i wanna rest and enjoy for a whole week to refresh my brain..

finally i can take my rest today...

i slept for almost 9 hours in the afternoon...

1pm-5pm and 7pm-10pm...

the most enjoyable thing>>>>sleep

and i should learn cooking...
everything that a girl should do...

but i believe that i can do it easily bcoz i have a large motivator...

pls remember everything i do,i do it for u...

no1 else...

tensi0n...!!!

oh my god...
my assignment deadline is near the corner...
but i did nothing with that...
i was full of tension these days...
everyday assignment...test...assignment...test...
finally,we finished 1 of the assignment yesterday...
4 persons in a group but only 3 persons worked on it...
i was crazy bcoz of the assignment...
i was busy like a crap!!!
but whatever we get,the others will get the same thing although they dont do anything...
what the hell is that..
isnt fair at all...
why should i share the thing when i did most of the thing???
arrrrgh....
forget about it....
it doesnt worth to make me angry...


---------------------------------------------------------------------



today i went to THE ONE CAFE with my classmates...
it is a cafe for hospitality student to practice how to serve a guest...
and guests can get a set lunch over there with RM12...
its nice right?
we went there at 12pm...
we were served by our seniors..
they are so professional...
and our attitude had changed when we talked in the cafe...
we became too polite...
we talked softly and eat slowly....
haha.....
we werent like that...
we used to laugh loudly and talk loudly...
we dont feel comfortable over there...
i ordered salmon as my main course...
not bad...
i was full although it was juz a little...
and we tried a glass of mocktail...
overall it was nice...the food,dessert...and drink...
juz imagine i should serve guests in the cafe after 3rd or 4th sem...
i dun dare to imagine what will happen...:D
my friend took some picture of the food but i didnt...
i will show u guys later...:)
but there is a influence after i came out from the cafe...
i went to toilet 3 times in 2 hours...:(
haha....


------------------------------------------------------------------

if i could do something to make u happy...

i'll sacrifies everything to see ur smile...

if i could change ur mind...

i'll give u mine...

if i could make u forget the sad things...

i'll transfers it to my mind...

i'll prove that u made the right choice...

and u will never feel regret bcoz of ur choice...

whatever u r,u will still the 1st place in ur 'home'..

ur 'home' will only available for u...

Random post

weekend....T.T
next week gonna be the 2nd week of July..
the time goes damn fast..
and i juz like did nothing...
last week,we sat a test for English To Hospitality..
next week we hav a test again...
and assignment...
im gonna be busy in tis month..
huh~
And i was not in a good mood yesterday...
i dunno why i couldnt smile although i forced myself to smile..
moody~
for others, maybe they felt annoyed bcoz i showed my sour face without any reason..
hey....
it wasnt under my control...!!!
u think i like to show my sour face and spoil the atmosphere???
i wanted to pretend,but yesterday i dun even can pretend in front of my family...
but i dun need sympathy from u guys...
i could survive without that...
ur sympathy made me feel disgusting....
vomit~
i fallen in sick for almost 2 weeks...
coughing is annoying me...
my lung became weak bcoz of coughing...:(
everyday have to take tablets...
my god...!!!!
God bless me....
hope i will get better soon....


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Guys,
what do u think about ur future?
do u have any idea about ur future?
im afraid of future whenever i thought about it...
i couldnt see my future....
bcoz i believe,
the more u deserve,the more u feel disappointed...
its good to imagine a good future....
but what if it dont comes true?
whatever....
i juz want to do my best in every part...
and appreciate whatever i hav now...
be happy,enjoy my life and be the best for u...
Good luck guys....




_Gillian_